Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I have mentioned before...

...that I hate the discussion of sex, politics, and religion. They are all very personal and passionate subjects which invariably lead to raised voices and finger pointing. So, I was particularly annoyed recently when my "Fair Housing" (required continuing education mandated by the state of NY in order to renew your RE license) instructor took advantage of her captive audience to platform her political agenda.

That being said, I don't believe that the purchase of junk food should be allowed under the food stamp program. I believe that proper nourishment of the mind and body is a key component to health, happiness and learning. I further believe that banning the purchase of such food items will aid in reducing the obesity problem this country faces.

You can start yelling now, but please keep your hands to yourself.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Lighten up...

...please. If you walk into a room and the adults therein start complaining of an instant headache, if you try to hold a baby which rejects you with screams of horror while clinging to its protector, if you exit an elevator to hear the entrants start heaving mightily, if you walk by a stable thereby causing the horses to chuff and stampede, chances are you are not the anti-christ, but rather are wearing too much of that cheap rancid crap you call perfume/cologne. No one really wants or needs to smell you a block away, subtlety please.

In this case, less really is more.

Monday, June 28, 2010

I moved to NYC...

...before 9/11 with delusions of grandeur. The city, in all her glory, quickly taught me many lessons. Having undergone a metamorphosis of sorts, I am happy to say I have come through the rite of passage probably happier than I have been in years. Unencumbered by expectations and relationships, I have finally come home to myself.

How comforting.

Friday, June 25, 2010

My favorite part of...

...yesterday was when a dear friend announced his engagement. He was practically giddy with excitement and emanating infectious joy. Naturally, we all gave him some good hearted ribbing, but the promise, the hope, the certainty, the love was profound. To see him so happy made me happy and reassured in some vicarious respect.

He is a good man (something I do not say lightly; it sticks in my throat) and deserves to be happy. Congratulations, I wish him and his future bride all the very best!!

We all get so caught up in our respective struggles, that we tend to overlook the things that give us the most joy. Every one deserves a moment like that one every day of their lives. Pick one moment every day and remember it fondly, discard all the rest.

Life is too short.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's always the one... never expect. I recall a resurgence of Johnny Cash's popularity among younger people after the movie Walk the Line. Additionally, I believe the sudden popularity of the FIFA World Cup among Americans may be attributable, in part, to the movie Invictus although I understand that movie revolved around rugby.

That being said, for the second time, I have been completely and happily surprised by a movie I had no desire whatsoever to see. The first was Million Dollar Baby starring Hillary Swank, directed by Clint Eastwood. The more recent one was The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock.

In my typical cynical fashion I dismissed this movie as some feel good load of crap, which in its own way sort of is. The fact that it is based on a true story not withstanding, kudos to the family involved for opening their hearts and their home. Sandra Bullock actually deserved the award she received for this movie.

A must see.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

It is human nature... want what we don't have. That's why when it is 50 degrees outside, we turn the heat up to 80, and when it's 80 degrees outside we turn the A/C to 50. That's why girls with straight hair get perms, and girls with curly hair get their hair straightened. That's why someone who is unobtainable automatically becomes more attractive.

While there is likely a scientific reason for this phenomenon, the philosophical aspect causes a great deal of angst among a varying scope of people, including myself. I don't obsess, but rather accept these facts as truths, thereby saving myself countless hours on the shrink's couch and thousands of dollars.

Still, there was a period in my life when I constantly lost my keys. It stopped when I realized I was causing it to happen by psyching myself out all the time. More recently I have decided that most everyone I let in, lets me down. I can only give you the benefit of the doubt for so long, then it's time to write you off, too.

Do they have a pill for that?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The cast and crew of.... employment production deserve an Oscar nod. The crew gets on very well and we all manage to play nicely together. There are no prima donnas and no consorting, both rare in my industry. The producers treat us well and the working environment favors the "10" end of the scale.

But the real draw, the real entertainment value, belongs to the cast of neighborhood characters. Everyone seems to know their role and plays it so well. Indeed, we have a raucous time playing our respective parts. We have developed a rapport in which we are all comfortable with the order of things.

So last evening, as we were yukking it up, I was amused by the outsider's view. A tourist was privileged to catch a scene from our performance, and although he did not review the entire cast, I was satisfied that I appear to be a "man hater".

All the world's a stage.

Monday, June 21, 2010

All this technology....

...that is supposed to make our lives easier really frustrates me. You can't even do your laundry today without technology interfering. These stupid money cards which have replaced quarters are meant to be more convenient, easier to carry. Big deal.

How convenient is it to load the machine and dispense the detergent only to find your card displays an error message when inserted. Now the machine must be emptied, the expensive detergent lost, and the laundry reloaded into another machine with the same results as the first.

Of course, there is no contact information printed on these cards, and to replace them from the machine that just told me I had a balance of $11.25, cost an additional $5.

Money cards more convenient than quarters? I think not, at least the quarters work.

Friday, June 18, 2010

One of my...

...newest readers happens to be an editor, so I do not take her praise lightly. She has indicated to me that I write very well, and I thank her for that. However, that and $2 plus tax will get me a cup of coffee.

Doing something well and getting paid for it are two completely separate entities, although I know lots of people who get paid for doing their jobs pretty half-assed. There are lots of things I enjoy doing, and do fairly well, the trick is getting paid to do them.

So, how do I get paid to go to the gym, the spa, the nail salon, shopping, dining, tanning, boating, cocktails, dancing, reading, watching movies, listening to music, and being with family and friends on permanent vacation?

I'm well qualified.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am not...

...easily surprised or shocked, so the other night when one of my semi-regular customers remarked the following insight I was more than slightly taken aback.

This fellow is quiet and polite, never speaking much and always pleasant. His observation was also right on the money. I'll paraphrase for you....

"For some time I've been coming in here watching all these guys say stupid things to you. You smile warmly, and graciously tell them to go fuck themselves in such a manner that they leave happily, coming back for more, with empty pockets, and thanking you for it."

Who has been giving away my trade secrets?!?!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The buzzword...

...I've been hearing lately among my friends is, balance. In the past few days both my male and female friends have been using this term in reference to themselves, others, and life in general.

I had been considering the topic of philosophical vs. critical thinking for some time, as I continually find myself drawn to brilliant minds. Being a philosophical thinker these attractions to critical thinkers may be an unconscious effort in an attempt at balance. Or maybe it's just the packaging.

Oddly enough, I find that on life issues people generally come to rest in the same areas. They simply take very different paths to arrive there. We all enjoy the thrill of extremes and yet crave the comfort of consistency. Life is a balancing act of ego and empathy.

Surely, a spectacle to see.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

There's one in...

...every crowd. Invariably, at least once a day, someone who is not pushing a baby carriage or stroller, someone who is not wielding a cello or tuba, finds it necessary to let themselves out of the subway by using the emergency door.

For whatever reason this person cannot be reasonable enough to maneuver through the turnstile, but sets off the skull splitting, ear bleeding alarm of the emergency exit causing the rest of the passengers to cringe.

Do you really want to attract that kind of attention? Were you ignored as a child?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Is voluptuous....

...a euphemism for fat? Seven years ago, when I quit smoking, I gained a lot of weight that I can't seem to get rid of, no matter what I try. Over the past few years I have heard that adjective used in reference to me on more than one occasion.

The first person to use the term "Rubenesque" gets it.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I belong to...

...a private gym, exclusive to the residents of the building I live in. It is fairly well appointed, clean by standard practices, glassed in on three sides, and maintains a magnetic lock entry/exit system.

So I was not concerned today when, half way through my work out, one of my neighbors discovered we were locked in. I was confident that one of the building maintenance staff or someone from the leasing or management office would happen by on their way to the restroom. Surely, a fellow resident would happen off the elevator on their way to the billiards room, the ATM, the laundry or storage rooms, even the fitness center.

As my neighbor's concern mounted, a brief sense of claustrophobia played hide and seek with my conscience. I realized I was not free to go of my own accord, should that be my choice. I wondered how people in jail survive, and why they would ever go back. Surely, a little social conformity must be worth the freedom to move about as we please. I was trapped with no food, no water, no A/C!!! OK, the last part is a stretch, but it is amazing how many thought processes our brains can analyze in a matter of seconds.

As I joined my neighbor in, what surely must have appeared to our rescuer, as the church scene from "The Graduate", I realized this is what those pesky cell phones are meant for. Alas, I don't carry my pesky cell phone to the gym. As a reminder, of its use, it was ringing when I let myself into my apartment afterwards.

I am an unwilling member of the technology cult.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

We all hate...

...the aggressive driver who weaves in and out of traffic, right? Well, the problem with this thinking is that improper driving has forced this driver to do so. Keep right, except to pass is a pretty straight forward, understandable concept. Yet, regardless of the number of traffic lanes involved, some one inevitably moves left and stays there.

I understand with the onslaught of SUV's and larger vehicles on the road, that it can be frustrating when unable to see around these status symbols; but, if you are afraid to pass, stay in the right lane. Actually, I think this phenomenon is more attributable to self absorbed, completely oblivious assholes, which seem to be populating the planet at an alarming rate.

This concept is applicable to sidewalks, stairwells, and entry/exit doors, too. Do I think the majority of city dwellers cannot comprehend this concept because they do not drive? No, in my opinion they are self absorbed assholes playing with their personal electronic devices.

But we all know the saying about opinions.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Last night...

...a former reader indicated that my blog has become "boring". I briefly considered signing off, as this is most likely a true statement. However, I realized boring is good!

Boring means drama free, a good thing. Rantless means low frustration levels, a good thing. Raveless means more patience, a good thing. Do I know a good thing when I see it, or what?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Thank you to...

...all who answered my plea for support. Lee Rosbach pulled through the 5 1/2 surgery with flying colors, and his wit in tact.

I have been somewhat reticent in my blog as of my return. My wonderful vacation is almost a distant memory as the reality sets in. Everyone has a schedule to meet; in addition to work and school, there are always things cropping up. Some where along the line, our lives cease belonging to us. Time has become the enemy, seemingly robbing more and more from us each day.

Seize the moment, before you realize the honeymoon is over.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Please allow me to...

...alleviate any confusion generated by yesterday's post. It would seem that many of you are unaware of the fact that I actually know two people who share the first name Lee.

The first, to the very best of my knowledge, is alive and well. The second has been somewhat of a father figure in my life for more years than I care to admit being alive, hence the family reference.

Lee Rosbach suffered a massive heart attack and is likely undergoing quadruple bypass surgery as of the writing of this post. If you believe in prayer, karma, the secret, or any other positive or spiritual source, I would ask you to send healing thoughts to the universe on his behalf.

You kids did not pay attention to my ASS/U/ME lecture.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Probably a great...

...majority of families can be termed "dysfunctional". Divorce, non communication, physical disability, mental instability, sexual preference are all fairly common contributors to the terminology. This list goes on and on, and in a society where we are taught tolerance families most adeptly demonstrate the inability to do so.

So what is the definition of family? Not a birth right or an automatic marriage extension, but one who is always and has always cared no matter what. I'm pretty lucky to have an extended "family" that include my ex in-laws, step dad, half brother, former lover, and current friends. Is all that ex step half former current stuff hard to keep track of? Nah, surround yourself with the people you care the most about, and the people who care about you.

In the end, family is all you've got. Get well soon, Lee. We all love you.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I'm back in...

..the New York groove. Indeed, the trip to work yesterday was a painful reminder that I live in a city of self absorbed strangers who spit on the sidewalks, try to jostle for position in front of you when the train is pulling into the station, refuse to relinquish one inch so that a dozen others may pass by, and lots of other things better left unsaid.

But arriving at work was like going home. I was warmly received, everyone was anxious to hear my vacation tales, and I truly enjoyed yukking it up with some of my regular customers that I actually consider friends. See, you can go home again.

It's too bad home isn't a private beach quietly beckoning my enjoyment of yet another perfect day. Taxi!!