Monday, May 31, 2010

I generally don't... critic's reviews. I am a fairly strong minded and somewhat stubborn person, so I like to form my own opinions of things. I have heard both positive and negative reviews of people who actually saw Avatar, and people who merely have opinions of everything. This is my blog, so here's mine.

I watched Avatar at home on my 46" TV and it was visually stunning. I can only imagine what it must have been like on the big screen and in 3D. Even more impressive than the CG's was the completely moving adaptation of the genocide of the native American people. The telling of this story was an uplifting tribunal to the human spirit. The underlying love story was indicative of the fact that we need not be clashing cultures; and finally, this movie was a warning of planetary matricide.

I know this sounds naive to some of you, but I love a happy ending.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I'm back from...

...undoubtedly the best vacation of my life. I was in good company, the weather was perfect the entire time, I visited some old friends and made a very important new one, the water was warm, the wine was cold, and the beach front hotel, by all standards, was quite nice.

Indeed, while staying there I was witness to at least one convention and one beach site wedding. Given the appointments and the popularity of this hotel I have only one question regarding the accommodations. All three of us shared a peculiarity in our respective rooms that warrants mention.

Our rooms shared a detail which confounds me, and was quite a lively subject of debate, although I am sure two bottles of wine contributed to the confusion. Someone actually designed, executed, and spent time energy and money to install a cut out between the bathroom and the sleeping quarters of the room.

This "window" did not overlook any scenery, was not functional in any ventilation respect, and was served by, none other than, a shutter; as was the actual door to the bathroom. Why lend an architectural detail to a room if it affords you no privacy?

Andrea says that even a couple married as long as twenty years needs privacy in this respect. "Honey, get me a beer." "Honey, where's the remote?"

I guess these folks think the honeymoon is over, or maybe you just had to be there.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

In case of emergency...

..don't break the glass. Drinking out of the bottle is so undignified. I am on vacation until 6/1/10. I hope to have lots to share upon my return.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Constructive criticism.. an oxymoron. Human nature is a tricky thing, and depending on an individual's current circumstances, can cause one to lean to either side of the issue. A positive person might focus on the constructive part, but a negative one will concentrate solely on the criticism.

Someone who has been mired in negativity for any length of time will attest to how difficult it is to break out of the pattern. It is not a matter of being released from the chains that bind to buoy to the surface. It is more akin to watching a person trying to remove tape that is stuck to their shoe by stepping on it with the other foot.

A tragic comedy.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Yesterday's blog...

...raised an eyebrow or two. Thank you to the three people in the world who were concerned about me as a result of reading it. It would seem that I managed to emit a morose tinge to my post. While that was most likely subconscious and true, my intention was to indicate that I am feeling scatter brained.

I have been considering several ideas for this blog, and have been unable to settle on one. Do the arts affect social morality? I have recently been haunted by some lyrics, and longed to see specific movies repeatedly. How has loss affected us as individuals? Losing people I have cared for has always manged to stay with me much longer than I would like, losing my job has never bothered me. Have you ever sent or received a text message, email, or voice mail in error? I have done both, and wonder if I lost a friend or made a stranger a new one as a result. Do you believe in love at first sight? It happened to me once.

These are all things I may ponder under the Florida skies. Then again, maybe not.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I have been...

..very distracted lately. Thoughts whirl around my head, seemingly endlessly. I am concerned for one friend, sad at the loss of another, curious about the possibilities of yet another, forgot to congratulate another. I am melancholy about missed opportunities, and hopeful for future ones. Left empty at broken relationships and fulfilled by the promise of new ones.

In preparing for my much needed upcoming vacation, I find I am mismanaging my time and am unable to focus or concentrate on the task at hand. I am unmotivated by the gym. Yet I remain positive that a change of scenery will inspire me. To do what, is the question.

I am open to suggestion.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

For one blissful moment...

....yesterday the cacophony that is NYC stopped to be replaced by a lone song bird. The blaring of taxi cab horns, the mournful wails of sirens, the incessant land and air traffic succumbed to the sweet welcome notes of one of the universe's most talented musicians.

One seemingly lost and unknowing reprieve from the constant grind of NYC. It truly is the little things.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Feast or famine...

...Generally I encounter enough social ineptitude that I have plenty of fodder for this blog. Every now and again the masses seem subdued enough that I am forced to bore my readers with the details of my time in the gym, etc. However there are times when I have to choose which absurdity I want to share.

Last night a friend of mine shared a telemarketer story, with any luck he will choose to blog about it himself. On my way home I witnessed some pervert stretching his arms as far as possible in order to fondle the breasts of a twenty foot mural; I am not making this up.

I am opting for the customer who had the audacity to tell me "you work for tips, shut the fuck up". He left of his own accord, thanks to my boss who intervened on his behalf. My boss is a pretty good egg, in an industry with an incredibly high turn over, most of his staff has been with him in excess of 10 years. I think that says something.

I know it was in his (my boss) best interest to avoid having a murder in his very well established restaurant, so I don't blame him for rescuing this moron from me. For those of you who do not know me, I am no demure shrinking violet. My response was a very vehement "Are you talking to ME? Let me tell you what you can do with your tip, asshole. Nobody talks to me like that, and I mean NOBODY".

Don't assume that because I work in the hospitality industry that I am subservient or too stupid to hold a "respectable" job. I am not for sale, and your tip doesn't entitle you to abuse anyone. Crawl back under your rock before I hit you with it.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

We've all heard...

... the old saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff". Well, I'm curious as to why it seems only my head and neck sweat when I'm in the gym. Shouldn't I be sweating in the much larger ares of my buttocks and abs? I mean I could use a little relief between my inner thighs where the friction of them rubbing together threatens to incinerate me with spontaneous combustion.

The way I see it, my shirt should be plastered to my rotundness, and my yoga pants should be able to wash themselves in the spin cycle my butt seems to cause when on the elliptical machine. But no, I seem to resemble some sort of embarrassed penguin.

Maybe I just have a fat head?!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Kudos to...

...NYC emergency services respondents. If you have ever witnessed someone in the throes of a heart attack, you know how unsettling it can be. People react differently to emergency situations; some with morbid curiosity, some become paralyzed with uncertainty, some are natural care givers.

Last night I managed to keep a cool head when dealing with 911 while watching the devastating effects of a heart attack wash over the face of a customer. It was just short of horrifying to see this man lose touch with reality while remaining conscious. It takes a special person to administer a professional and caring demeanor in any given environment.

Indeed, it took longer to complete the phone call, than for the first of the responders to arrive. My prayers go out to this man and his family, and my appreciation is renewed for the people who save our lives every day.

We all tend to take things for granted, until we find ourselves in that wake up! situation. Thank you to all the unsung people we rely on every day without even realizing their worth.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Physical fitness is...

..a pain in the ass. About five months ago my motivation decided to go AWOL, shortly afterwards my metabolism retired, probably somewhere down south where it is warm and sunny. Comfort food and 13 lbs. moved into the neighborhood of my ass and have caused the value to plummet.

Now I've been trying to get motivation to return and rally a neighborhood watch. It reluctantly agreed to return for a trial basis. Today we weeded some overgrown areas and collected some debris in some of the long forgotten vacant muscles. Tomorrow we will try to locate metabolism and see if we can shame into assistance.

Getting back into shape is a lot more difficult than allowing yourself to get out of it. Maintenance is easier than reconstruction, even if you are not 100% satisfied with the results, don't give up. The older we get the harder it gets. I'm guessing 10x the work for half the results.

Gym is a dirty word. Cellulite is a sentence.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day


Thank you for all the times you lifted me up, I'm sorry for all the times I let you down. I remember every time you made me smile, I regret every time I made you cry. I appreciate every time I catch myself emulating you, and pray you are proud of the person I have become. You probably never realized your inner strength was matched only by your outer beauty. You have always been, and always will be, the single most important and influential person in my life. I love you, thank you for being my mother.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Sex, politics, and religion...

...are three hot topic subjects which I like to avoid, especially when mixed with alcohol. Discussions involving any one of these three can lead to raised voices and finger pointing, but as long as everyone keeps their hands to themselves, I am generally happy when you kids play amongst yourselves.

There has been a term floating around of late that bothers me, sex addict. It just smacks of another excuse as to why one does not control their behavior. Granted, a cheat has many of the characteristics of an addict, they destroy lives, decimate trust and tear apart homes. They lie, manipulate and make excuses, refusing to see or admit to the problem. They cause themselves and others financial strain and seem to be unaware of the pain they inflict. Indeed, they do no want to correct the problem as they do not admit to one.

Now saying that cheating is an addiction, is simply another excuse for bad behavior. A liar is a liar, an addict is an addict, and a cheat is a cheat.

Friday, May 7, 2010

We live in...

... a disgustingly litigious society. Frivolous law suits invite the government into our bedrooms to hold our hands; they scream take care of me for I am unable to make my own decisions or I am too lazy to work and am looking for that one big, easy score. Does anyone recall the woman who sued a restaurant chain for giving her a hot cup of coffee and WON? She sued an organization for giving her what she ordered and WON!

That opened the floodgates for every excuse to pursue someone else's almighty dollar. It has become standard that the world owes everyone who considers themselves different or unfortunate, fewer and fewer people seek career paths, more and more seek the settlement. It is one of the things that splinter our population and divide us into special interest groups rather than one nation, undivided.

This hostile environment has recently lead to a dear friend having her head put on the sacrificial lamb chopping block, undeservedly so. In a world where sensitivity training, sexual harassment awareness, and tolerance are widely considered life tools, we tend to forget they are tools that can be used to stab us in the back in pursuit of the greed dream.

We've all heard the quote, "All is fair in love and war". Those who love money are willing to wage war against your character in an effort to get it. Watch your back.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Are people blissfully unaware...

..or completely self absorbed? I am fairly certain that in a city this size at least of a few of its residents are aware of their surroundings. I would hope that most of you check traffic before crossing the street, step over the gap when entering and exiting the trains, are conscience of other people when manipulating revolving doors, and when negotiating the sidewalks.

So why is it that I must ask you to remove your inanimate objects from the barstool so that a breathing paying customer can sit down? You don't notice this parched trembling being hovering around, lusting after the seat occupied by your laptop? Why is it when you ignore me after I have greeted you or stood waiting for your drink order for some seemingly indeterminable length of time are you shocked when I simply walk away?

Did you not notice the piano music stopped an hour ago, when the piano player left, and 80% of the staff changed into their street clothes, accompanying the rest of the patrons out the front door? Do you not see the staff unfortunate enough to be stuck with you are silently praying for your departure? Of course they are agreeable, it means their jobs, you self absorbed jerk.

Unless you are leaving with a member of the staff, you should never be the last person in the bar or restaurant.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Taxi cabs are...

..a plague within NYC. They are more rampant than rats or roaches and usually driven by maniacal unsafe and discourteous horn honkers with a death wish. Indeed any sane person has misgivings getting into one of these bright yellow hearses.

I seldom subject myself to being ripped off by these ghouls, but like taxes, there are times that it cannot be avoided. Last week when I took a cab for about 90 blocks, I was not startled by the $15 price tag. I was more than dismayed last night when I went one third of that distance for more than half the price.

Here's the deal; I walked to the train station which was closed. There were no posted alerts for service disruption and this is not an uncommon instance. Now my choices are back track the way I came, plus another four blocks OR 19 blocks to the next express stop on the train.

It is 1 am, I am tired, so I hail a cab. Now most of you are probably aware there is a $1 service charge for each cab ride that goes to the MTA. I have to pay an extra dollar for a train that isn't running, has inconvenienced me incredibly, and cost me to take my life into my own hands at the mercy of someone is going to steal my hard earned money.

Like a friend of mine likes to say, "beyond the pale!"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

NYC real estate is...

...considered some of the most highly valued on the planet. Maybe that is why I am so over protective of the tiny parcel where I earn my living. There are but a scant eight stools for me to ply my wares and pay my bills.

If your intention is to occupy one of these sought after vacancies while waiting for the rest of your party; keep in mind that drinking water and eating free bar munchies, with every intention of transferring your check to the dining room and thereby not tipping me, can and probably will provoke me into volatile action.

By the way, chewing with your mouth open is not as sexy as you seem to think: and sarcasm is only charming when I'm engaged in it. My stools are for paying and tipping customers.

The rest of you, please go wait at the table.

Monday, May 3, 2010

How far is ... too far? In a world where satellites can project images to computer screens, where video phones are about to burst onto the market, where laser surgery is commonplace, and cars can now park themselves; how is it possible that things like child pornography and incest still exist? How is it possible women are still stoned to death and illiteracy runs rampant? Why do ghettos remain anywhere on this planet and how can we justify making assumptions about other people based on their looks alone?

Where are the great thinkers and innovators? Why have we focused on money as opposed to scientific and medical advancements? Our leaders have failed us miserably, and what is more, we allowed them to do it. Who cares what Tiger or Jenna and Tito are doing? It is time to reprioritize, refocus, and regain our footing.

We haven't come nearly far enough.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

A man is only as good... his word. I believe this quote is attributable to Theodore Roosevelt. I wonder if he meant that a man who spews obscenities, is just that; obscene. A man who spews hatred, hateful. A man who spews bigotry, bigoted. Or maybe he was referring to empty or broken promises, an unreliable man. Maybe he realized that a man late for an appointment essentially told the person waiting for him that his time is more important than theirs.

Of course, he never envisioned the invention of cell phones, Ipads & Iphones, Blackberries, OnStar, TomTom, or an entire slew of gadgets designed specifically to keep us connected and informed. These devices only magnify man's disregard for the person left waiting and wondering.

Don't wonder what impression you have left someone with if you stand them up, or spout negativity; because it is apparent to us that you don't really care. Do mankind a favor and stay home.

Hopefully, Teddy and my readers would agree, the operative word is MAN-KIND